Ignatius & Sally Hamblett interview

Melody Cheever: Thanks for talking with us.

Sally Hamblett: So you found Tony?

Melody Cheever: Not yet. We're still investigating, but we're hopeful.

Zach Wooten: Do you know why he might have run away?

Ignatius Hamblett: He probably couldn't wait to go wild and join his wolf ancestors instead of living a fake existence as some kind of pampered brat.

Sally Hamblett: If you kids will excuse me, there's something I need to do in the kitchen.

Zach Wooten: Should we wait for you to come back?

Sally Hamblett: No, I might be a while.

Melody Cheever: Mr. Hamblett, do you have any evidence your dog might have returned to the wild?

Ignatius Hamblett: I'm just speculating. I know I would. You might not know this, but dogs were never meant to be domesticated. Working on a farm is one thing, but sitting on the couch between you is another. Good riddance, I say.

Zach Wooten: Excuse me. I'll be right back.

Melody Cheever: Did you know a bunch of dogs have gone missing?

Ignatius Hamblett: Yeah, same thing happened to Andy Osborne. Him and my wife sit around and mope together. Far as I'm concerned, that was his plan all along.

Melody Cheever: What do you mean?

Ignatius Hamblett: I'm not saying Tony had help getting out the gate, but it certainly worked out for Osborne. He's got an excuse to spend more time with my wife, and then he tries to hit me up for money to foot the bill.

Melody Cheever: What bill?

Ignatius Hamblett: When they meet at some coffee shop or restaurant. Don't tell my wife I said this, but Andy called me saying he had the dog.

Melody Cheever: Really? That's great!

Ignatius Hamblett: He disguised his voice, of course. I strung him along for a while, and then I told him to take a hike.

Melody Cheever: Why?

Ignatius Hamblett: It’s not as though he's not going to hurt Sally's dog. The two of them probably have him settled in a doggie spa where they visit him every time my wife tells me she's meeting Andy to commiserate.

Melody Cheever: What did he say on the phone?

Ignatius Hamblett: Just that he had my dog and that I could get him back in exchange for a pile of cold, hard cash. The nerve of that guy.

Melody Cheever: Did you tell your wife? What did she say?

Ignatius Hamblett: Nah, I let her stew. Make her wonder why I didn't mention the call. Maybe sow a little discord between the two lovebirds. You’re just a kid right now, but when you grow up, you’ll see.

Melody Cheever: If your dog did get out, is there any place he likes to go?

Ignatius Hamblett: I don't know. He's a dog. Who cares?

Melody Cheever: Oh. Well,I think that's all we need right now. Thank you. You've been very helpful.

Ignatius Hamblett: Where did my wife get to now?

Melody Cheever: I don’t think he misses that dog one bit.