OXFORD WEEKLY PLANET
Wednesday, July 12, 2017
The View from Behind the Chair
In this edition: murder and sex, show-and-tell gone wrong, and a plea to the city's aldermen
Welcome to The View from the Behind the Chair — the only place you'll hear the things women only tell their hairdressers.
In the first chair, a source in the Yoknapatawpha County Sheriff's Department (her hair's a pleasure to cut) tells me detectives are narrowing down suspects in the recent murder of Professor Douglas Reed, an Ole Miss faculty favorite. This news should come as a source of relief to the surprisingly large number of clients who’ve been reminiscing about “Doug” of late. Perhaps the sheriff’s department could have fast-tracked their investigation by starting with husbands, boyfriends, and fathers.
In the second chair, a teacher at Oxford High School reports that one of the students spiced up summer school with pepper spray. Discovered at the Mid-Town Shopping Center that morning according to the student, the pepper spray was believed to be empty until the student decided to relive that kindergarten standard, Show-and-Tell, much to the distress of all nearby. Fortunately, all emerged without permanent damage after a very unpleasant hour or so.
And in the third chair, a woman who looks ten years younger with help of her new highlights asked what she could do to convince the Aldermen that cold beer and light wine should be sold at hair salons. Any ideas, my peeps?
I'm just hearing, and I'm just saying.