OXFORD WEEKLY PLANET

Wednesday, April 22

The View from Behind the Chair

In this edition: see one, do one, drink one?

Greetings, peeps!

The View from Behind the Chair is the only place you'll hear the secrets people share when they're in the chair.

In the first chair, a teacher at Yoknapatawpha High School reports that one of the students spiced up the school day with pepper spray. According to the student's story, they discovered the pepper spray at the Mid-Town Shopping Center that morning and believed it was empty. To prove it, the student decided to relive that kindergarten standard, Show-and-Tell, much to the distress of all nearby. Fortunately, all emerged without permanent damage after a very unpleasant hour or so.

In the second chair, a source in the sheriff's department (her hair's a pleasure to cut) tells me detectives are narrowing down suspects in the recent murder of Professor Douglas Reed, an Ole Miss faculty favorite. This news should come as a source of relief to the surprisingly large number of clients who've been reminiscing about "Doug" of late. Perhaps the sheriff's department could have fast-tracked its investigation by starting with husbands, boyfriends, and fathers.

And in the third chair, a woman who looks ten years younger, thanks to her new highlights, asked what she could do to convince the city council that cold beer and light wine should be sold in hair salons. Any ideas, my peeps?

I'm just hearing, and I'm just saying.

Posted by The Face in the Mirror at 3:55 PM