Man with dark hair and a salt-and-pepper mustache

Neal Caine interview #6

Sunday, October 31, 2021 – 4:50 p.m.

Neal Caine is a member of the Yoknapatawpha Players board.

Detectives Beckwith and Magee talked to him again at the Yoknapatawpha County Sheriff's Department.


  • Detective P. Beckwith
  • Detective J. Magee
  • Neal Caine

Detective Magee: All right, Mr. Caine, it looks like we're required to delve a bit into your personal life.

Neal Caine: You're keeping me here to get your jollies off my love life? For real?

Detective Beckwith: All you have to do is answer the questions.

Detective Magee: Janet told us you're still in love with Anna Kessler even though she's not interested in you. Do you deny it?

Neal Caine: I told you that I had my shot with her and blew it. That's that.

Detective Beckwith: I'm not sure you answered the question.

Neal Caine: If you're asking if I would date her again if she wanted to, I'm telling you I would. But it's a pipe dream that she'd want to get back together, so I'm not brooding over it.

Detective Magee: Do you know who she's currently dating?

Neal Caine: No one, as far as I know.

Detective Beckwith: Anna told us Scott had asked her out, and she was receptive to it.

Neal Caine: News to me. I never saw them together.

Detective Beckwith: That's because Scott had his head bashed in before he had the chance.

Neal Caine: None of this has anything to do with me.

Detective Magee: Maybe you weren't too receptive to the fact that Scott was dating your girl?

Neal Caine: Whatever. Like Scott had any chance with Anna. He was awkward as hell, and everyone knows he bored his last girlfriend to death. One date would be all it would take for him to embarrass himself out of his delusions.

Detective Beckwith: You seem pretty sure that Anna wouldn't—

Neal Caine: You have no clue what Anna wants.

Detective Magee: We've talked to her. We have a good idea.

Neal Caine: And she told you she was in love with Scott?

Detective Magee: No.

Neal Caine: I didn't think so.

Detective Beckwith: But Janet said she was in love with you, even if Anna isn't.

Neal Caine: What? That's hilarious. She likes to shoot high, don't she? Well, I'm not that hard up to do that kind of dumpster-diving.

Detective Beckwith: Because you're still holding out for Anna?

Neal Caine: If you think needling me is going to get me to say something, you're wrong, detective.

Detective Magee: You're already in more trouble than you think, Mr. Caine. You should know that Scott didn't die from a wall falling on him.

Neal Caine: How do you know?

Detective Magee: The autopsy didn't support that conclusion.

Neal Caine: So?

Detective Beckwith: The murder weapon was a baseball bat-like club that Scott made. One that was covered with blood that matches your type.

Neal Caine: What are you implying?

Detective Beckwith: We're not implying anything. We have facts that we'd like you to explain.

Neal Caine: Well, I never had a club. Check the DNA. I guarantee you that my blood ain't on it. Hold on. Is this the same club that Martin had? I told you he was your guy.

Detective Magee: We think Martin used that club after Scott was already dead.

Neal Caine: I never had it. Check the DNA!

Detective Magee: We will. It's in Jackson at the crime lab as we speak. That still won't clear up who switched one of Martin's prop bats with the bloody club.

Neal Caine: Then it totally has to be Janet. I told you she was trying to wreck the play every chance she could that day.

Detective Beckwith: How would Janet have done it?

Neal Caine: Think about it. She locked Heath into the quarantine room when she knew he was high. Then when the sirens went off for the zombie attack, she waited for us all to run out of the lab, then she went backstage behind the mobile lab.

Detective Magee: Wouldn't people have seen her?

Neal Caine: No, we were all running to hide. She must've hid the club backstage earlier and used it to kill Scott. Then Heath kicked the wall over on his body.

Detective Beckwith: So you're saying you think she locked Heath up in the quarantine room to set him up for the murder?

Neal Caine: She's the mastermind, not me.

Detective Magee: Seems a bit far-fetched, don't you think?

Neal Caine: Not the way I see it. Maybe she didn't set up Heath. Maybe she just locked his stupid butt in there so he wouldn't accidentally interfere with her plan.

Detective Beckwith: If it went down like you say it went down, why would Janet want to kill Scott? She hasn't got a motive.

Neal Caine: Y'all are the detectives. I don't know why women like Janet do what they do. Crazy broads.

Detective Magee: I think you have as good a reason as anyone to—

Neal Caine: All right, I've been here long enough.

Detective Magee: We still have a few more questions for you, Mr. Caine.

Neal Caine: That doesn't mean I have to answer them. Are you planning on charging me with a crime?

Detective Beckwith: Not at this moment.

Neal Caine: Then you can either let me go, or I'll wait for the DNA evidence to come back, which will prove that I'm innocent, and then you'll let me go. Either way, I'm not answering any more questions. If I have to, I'll call a lawyer.

Detective Magee: Suit yourself, Mr. Caine. You can go, but know that we'll be talking again when that DNA comes in.

Neal Caine: And you'll be singing a different tune because I didn't kill the guy.

Interview ended – 5:06 p.m.



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