Friday, January 11, 2013 - 9:50 p.m.
The witness was discovered snooping around the Yoknapatawpha County Convention Center. Detectives Murphy and Parker interviewed him at the Yoknapatawpha Sheriff's Department. The interview was recorded with the witness's knowledge and consent.
- Detective S. Murphy
- Detective E. Parker
- Buzz Dakota
Detective Murphy: Good morning, Buzz. It's nice to see you again.
Buzz Dakota: Hi. What do you want with me? Why do you keep bothering me?
Detective Murphy: We just need to get some information. Will you state your name and address for the record, please?
Buzz Dakota: Buzz Dakota. I live with my daughter, Price Hill Road.
Detective Murphy: Where were you on the morning of January 5th?
Buzz Dakota: I don't know.
Detective Murphy: You don't know where you were?
Buzz Dakota: No. I don't know where I was yesterday. When was January… whatever day you said?
Detective Murphy: It was last weekend, the day Jared Plunk was murdered at the Elvis conference at the YCCC.
Buzz Dakota: I did hear some things about that Plunk man.
Detective Murphy: Did you know him?
Buzz Dakota: No, I didn't know him, but everyone was talking about him. My daughter was saying he was a troublemaker.
Detective Parker: Is that all you know about Plunk?
Buzz Dakota: People were talking about him, all over the place. Some people wanted to go see him, and some thought he was a bad man.
Detective Murphy: Were you in the hotel that morning, Buzz?
Buzz Dakota: Oh. Oh! Shhhh. That was the day I saw the aliens cloning Elvis. Shhhh. I don't want to go up. I have to lie low.
Detective Parker: What do you mean they were cloning Elvis?
Buzz Dakota: I saw all of the Elvis clones at the Center. I noticed it the night before. I saw one of them turn into a woman! The place was crawling with them.
Detective Parker: I– can you explain that a little more?
Buzz Dakota: I noticed one of the Elvis clones standing by the door, and suddenly he turned into a woman. Even had on woman's clothes. The aliens are cloning us now. I don't want to be cloned. How would my daughter know which one was me?
Detective Murphy: I see you're still wearing your tin foil hat, Buzz. Doesn't that work anymore?
Buzz Dakota: So far, so good. The cloning is scary though, so I'm not taking any chances. I didn't want to come here today. I'm counting on my hat to protect me like it always has.
Detective Murphy: Back to the Elvises at the YCCC. I don't think I understand how a man could turn into a woman, Buzz. Tell me more.
Buzz Dakota: It's so simple
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