Older man wearing aluminum foil on his head

Buzz Dakota interview

Tuesday, July 18, 2023 – 11:00 a.m.

Buzz Dakota is a local eccentric who has given the detectives information in previous investigations.

Detectives Armstrong and Murphy interviewed him at the Yoknapatawpha County Sheriff's Department.

Participants:

Detective Armstrong: Good morning, Buzz. Nice to see you again. For the record, would you please state your name and address?

Buzz Dakota: My name is Buzz, just like the last time you asked me to come in so we could coordinate our defenses. I still live with my daughter because her house is the only one in Oxford with a force strong enough to defeat the aliens. Good thing I still have my hat to protect me out here in the open.

Detective Armstrong: You told one of our colleagues that you have information about a man seen around the wooded area in Oxford Memorial Cemetery.

Buzz Dakota: Woooo, that's the place where that cheerleader was killed. Crawling with aliens. Wooo!

Detective Murphy: Buzz, do you know something about the cheerleader who was murdered?

Buzz Dakota: My daughter told me she was killed. If that guy is an alien, he could have done it. He watched her all the time.

Detective Armstrong: You've seen her watching him more than once?

Buzz Dakota: Reporting for duty, sir. He's sneaky, watching her but hiding at the same time.

Detective Murphy: Where have you seen him?

Buzz Dakota: There! In that place you said.

Detective Murphy: Anywhere else?

Buzz Dakota: The aliens have another landing area behind the high school. It's good cover for them. Can't tell the aliens from the teenagers.

Detective Murphy: And you saw this man near the high school too?

Buzz Dakota: That's what I said. I said that.

Detective Murphy: Did you see him there more than once?

Buzz Dakota: Yep. You bet.

Detective Murphy: Do you know his name?

Buzz Dakota: No, I don't know him, but he probably came from the nebula or something. Everyone was talking about him. He got off a bus, came from nowhere. I was watching the area for aliens, and that's when I first saw him.

Detective Armstrong: You keep your eyes open.

Buzz Dakota: Of course. Aliens will invade the earth, but no one will know because they walk around looking like humans. They like the fringe element because they blend in better with them. I watched the new one to see if he's an alien.

Detective Armstrong: What were your findings?

Buzz Dakota: I went to their landing area behind the high school when he wasn't there, and I scanned where he was for alien contamination. He hides it better than some of the others. They must be improving their technology. But he couldn't fool me. I know.

Detective Armstrong: You've got to watch out for yourself.

Buzz Dakota: That's right. You can never be too safe, and I didn't want to take any chances.

Detective Armstrong: What else can you tell us about this man?

Buzz Dakota: I think he's a scout for the aliens. He's always watching. Teenage girls. I think he's looking for ones they can use to spread their DNA across Earth and take over. The others say he isn't from around here. They don't know how right they are.

Detective Armstrong: Did you ever speak to him yourself?

Buzz Dakota: Detective, even with my hat for protection, I couldn't get within 50 yards of an alien without being contaminated. I always keep my distance, but I saw him watching her. I try to warn people, but they don't listen.

Detective Murphy: You saw the man watching Katy Brown, the cheerleader who was killed?

Buzz Dakota: That's what I said. I said that.

Detective Murphy: Do you think he killed her?

Buzz Dakota: I don't know if he was the one. All I can say is aliens are capable of anything, and you can never count them out when something bad has happened. They're evil, I tell you, and without protection, everybody is vulnerable.

Detective Murphy: Buzz, did you ever see him talking to Katy?

Buzz Dakota: No, it's like I told you, he kept out of sight. Always hiding and keeping a close eye on her like a curious cat. I think he was waiting for a chance to capture her and take her back to where he came from. Could be someone killed her before he had a chance to snatch her.

Detective Murphy: Buzz, do you know where we can find this man?

Buzz Dakota: Wooo, you shouldn't do that. Aliens are dangerous like I told you.

Detective Murphy: I know, but the sheriff's department gives us special protective gear to keep us safe.

Buzz Dakota: Can I get some of that gear?

Detective Murphy: You better let us test it first to make sure it works. We wouldn't want you putting yourself at risk.

Buzz Dakota: Yes. Good. You test it first.

Detective Murphy: So where should we go to test it? Do you know where we can find this guy?

Buzz Dakota: I don't know where he stays. He probably goes back up to the ship every night, but I've seen him at the food bank. Aliens gotta eat, too, I guess.

Detective Murphy: That's good. Thank you, Buzz. Is there anything else we need to know about this guy before our test?

Buzz Dakota: Nope. That's all I know. And I know a lot.

Detective Armstrong: All right then, Buzz. It looks like we're finished for today. Thanks for talking to us.

Buzz Dakota: I'll keep my eye out for anything odd and let you know as soon as there's anything to report.

Detective Murphy: We'd appreciate that, Buzz. You be careful out there, okay? We'll have an officer drive you home now.

Interview ended – 11:18 a.m.