When I give you this letter, I'm going to make you promise not
to read it unless something happens to me, so I hope you never read
it. If you are reading it, then either you've broken your promise
to me or something bad really has happened to me, and I pray every
day that neither one of those things ever happen. I don't think
you'd ever break a promise you made to me so if your reading this,
something really bad must have happened to me.
I'm really scared Kevin. After what happened yesterday, I'm scared
of JP. Not all the time. Just sometimes, like when he gets really
mad like he did yesterday. When he gets like that I don't even know
who he is. I don't know what would of happened if you hadn't called
the police. I know I was really mad at you at first for doing that
and I don't think I ever thanked you, so thank you. It was probably
the right thing to do, but I just couldn't see that then. I was
so mad at JP I guess it just spilled over on to you. I still can't
believe he was like that. I've never seen him so mad and I've never
been so scared. I know you think I should break up with him, but
most of the time we get along ok and some parts of our relationship
are so good. But yesterday it was like he wasn't the guy I know
at all. He was someone else that I don't know and don't like. Someone
I was scared of. I think one of us would of ended up dead if the
police hadn't come. If something bad has happened to me, Kevin.
If I'm beat up or worse (I'm too scared to even write what the worse
might be) make sure they talk to JP.
I know we used to talk about how Roger might hurt me one day, but
I still don't believe he would, even though you do. That stuff was
before the restraining order. Since we got that, I can't see Roger
coming after me. I know you don't like him because he's acted like
a jerk so much since we got divorced. I've complained about him
alot and he's done alot of things that weren't very nice, but I
wish you'd believe me that he wasn't allways like that. He's done
alot of things that hurt my feelings and made me cry and I know
how much you hate that, but when we were first together, he was
so nice and so sweet to me and Liddie. I just can't believe he'd
do anything that would hurt Liddie. And hurting me would hurt Liddie.
So if the police are involved again, don't tell them it was Roger
just because you don't like him.
In case I can't tell you myself when your reading this, thank you
Kevin for being such a good friend to Liddie and I since we moved
here. You have always been there for us and there's no way I can
ever thank you enough for that. I know not everything worked out
the way you wanted it, but you have to believe me that was for the
best. It never would of worked out for you and I and if we had tried
we probably would of made each other unhappy and lost our friendship.
I never want to do anything to lose you as a friend. I love you
like the brother I never had. Take care of yourself and, if I can't
do it anymore for some reason, keep an eye on my precious Liddie
for me. You know how much she loves you and if I'm gone she'll need
you more than ever. Thank you for everything. You are a better friend
than I deserve.