Monday, June 8, 2009 - 3:30 PM

The witness, Buzz Dakota, is a 75-year-old white male.  The interview was conducted at the Yoknapatawpha Sheriff's Department and recorded on a portable tape recorder with the witness's knowledge and consent.

Detective Samantha Murphy
Detective Ted Armstrong
Buzz Dakota

Detective Murphy:Thanks for coming in Buzz.It's been some time.

Buzz Dakota:I've been on tour.

Detective Armstrong: Before I ask for clarification on that, could you state your name and address for the record?

Buzz Dakota: My name is Buzz Dakota, and I am a citizen of the planet Earth.

Detective Armstrong:So, you've been on tour?

Buzz Dakota: Lecturing about the alien threat to the non-believers.

Detective Armstrong: You get many non-believers showing up?

Buzz Dakota: The question is not how many show up, but how many are really aliens in disguise. Trying to figure out how much I know.

Detective Murphy: We talked the April before last.  The spring of 2008. Do you remember that?

Buzz Dakota: April?

Detective Murphy: We went out for macaroni and cheese afterwards.

Buzz Dakota: It needed more salt.

Detective Murphy: That's right.  When we talked that day, you talked about a quilt with limbs.

Buzz Dakota: I don't remember that.

Detective Armstrong: You said there was a quilt with a human arm.

Buzz Dakota: Oh, yes. The human seed pod.

Detective Armstrong: Could you tell us about the human seed pod you saw?

Buzz Dakota: The aliens, they grow bodies that they then enter so that they can move about freely. I happened upon two of them of them planting a pod.

Detective Armstrong:Two? Are you sure?

Buzz Dakota: There could have been a third, keeping watch, but I only saw two.

Detective Armstrong: Where was this?

Buzz Dakota: At the lake.

Detective Armstrong:Which lake?

Buzz Dakota: The one with all the water.  It's very wet there.  I almost fell in. My hat could have rusted, and then where would I be? Unprotected, that's where!

Detective Armstrong: Do you think you could show us this lake on a map?

Detective Murphy: Perhaps you could show us where you patrol.

Buzz Dakota: I'll try, certainly.

Detective Murphy: Buzz, how do you know what you saw was a human seed pod?

Buzz Dakota: They don't bury their own on Earth.  Their bodies wouldn't decay in our soil.It's the chemical composition.

Detective Murphy: How do you know they weren't burying a dead dog?

Buzz Dakota: Dogs don't have arms.

Detective Murphy: You're sure you saw an arm.

Buzz Dakota: There would be no sense in burying an empty quilt.

Detective Armstrong: Here we are, Buzz. This is an overhead view of Oxford. Right now we're here.  There's the college. There's the hospital. There's where we had macaroni and cheese. Do you feel oriented?

Buzz Dakota: This is the conference center where that girl was killed.

Detective Armstrong:Yes. You helped us on that case.

Buzz Dakota: Right here. That's where I saw the aliens planting the seed pod.

Detective Armstrong:  The witness has indicated the eastern shore of Sardis Lake.

Buzz Dakota: Sardis?

Detective Murphy: Could you describe the two aliens who you saw burying the seed pod?

Buzz Dakota: They can change their appearance at will. 

Detective Murphy: The appearance they wore when you saw them.  How would you describe it?

Buzz Dakota:Very human-like.

Detective Murphy: Could you be more specific?

Buzz Dakota: Humanoid.

Detective Armstrong:Did they say anything?

Buzz Dakota:  The aliens are capable of communicating through brain waves. That's why I wear this hat. I don't want them giving me commands.

Detective Murphy: Where did they go after they buried the pod?

Buzz Dakota:The mother ship.

Detective Murphy: Did you see the mother ship?

Buzz Dakota: No, but where else would they go?  They can't impersonate humans indefinitely. Perhaps they were hungry.

Detective Armstrong: If they were hungry, where do you think they would go to eat?

Buzz Dakota:Somewhere that served macaroni and cheese.

Detective Armstrong: Hmm. Maybe we need to check out a place like that after we're done here.

Buzz Dakota: An excellent idea.

Detective Murphy:Buzz, we don't want to tip our hand.  If Detective Armstrong and I go to the wrong lake, the aliens might have someone watching. They'll learn what we're up to, which will give them the advantage. We don't want that to happen.

Buzz Dakota: No ma'am, we do not.

Detective Murphy: I'd like you to just sit for a moment for your eyes closed. Then I'd like you to take another look at the map.

Buzz Dakota You'll keep your eyes open?

Detective Murphy: Of course.& You have nothing to fear.

Buzz Dakota:Okay, then.

Detective Armstrong: is he snoring?

Detective Murphy: He is. Buzz fell asleep.  Buzz, wake up.

Buzz Dakota: Reporting for duty.

Detective Murphy:Buzz, could you look at this map and show us where you saw those aliens burying the human seed pod, the quilt with an arm?

Buzz Dakota: Right there.

Detective Murphy: You're sure it's Sardis Lake?

Buzz Dakota: Sardis Lake? I'm sorry. I only speak Earth.

Detective Armstrong: Let's go check on that macaroni and cheese.

Interview ends: 4:15 PM